The Labels Placed on Baby Girls—Before They’re Even Born

Reflections on labels, emotional safety, and raising confident girls

Before I share these reflections, I want to name why this matters to me.

This isn’t about comparing boys and girls or debating who is easier to raise. It’s about noticing how early girls are labeled—and how those messages, often spoken casually and without reflection, can shape a child’s sense of self long before she has words of her own.

Since I was pregnant with my Baby Girl in 2023, I’ve heard repeated comments suggesting girls are harder than boys. Some version of “Oh, you’re in for it now” or “Girls aren’t easy” seems to come up again and again. Recently, even my daughter’s pediatrician—a woman and mother to a young girl—remarked that little girls aren’t easy.

I’ve also heard girls described as dramatic, overly emotional, or hormonal, often in ways that carry a negative or minimizing undertone.

“What has struck me most is how early these labels appear—sometimes before a child has had any real chance to show us who she is.”

All of this has left me thinking deeply about my daughter and the world she is growing into—a world where expectations and judgments are placed on her before she’s even had the opportunity to show us who she is. Becoming her mother after loss has made me especially aware of how fiercely I want to protect her inner world.

What Are We Really Saying About Girls?

I don’t believe most of these comments are intentionally harmful. Many are passed down through families, spoken casually and without much reflection. But when we slow down and listen closely, the underlying message becomes clearer.

There is often an unspoken undertone that girls are less than—less manageable, less rational, or less emotionally acceptable than boys. There can also be a subtle message that emotions themselves are something negative—something to suppress, control, or outgrow.

Each child is shaped by temperament, attachment, environment, relationships, and socialization.

“When we rely on labels instead of curiosity, we stop seeing the whole child in front of us.”

Examining these inherited beliefs is part of the deeper work of breaking generational cycles—something I explore more fully in Breaking Generational Cycles with Love and Intention.

Emotions Are Not the Problem

In my work as a therapist, I often see the long-term effects of emotional suppression. Many women were raised believing their emotions were “too much,” inconvenient, or something to keep hidden—messages that often began in childhood. I also see how early messaging teaches boys that talking about feelings makes them weak or less masculine, reinforcing the idea that emotions should be pushed down rather than understood.

Research on emotional development shows that when children learn to push their feelings down instead of understanding them, it can shape how they relate to themselves and others—often showing up later as anxiety, shame, or difficulty trusting their inner world.

Biology and hormones do play a role in emotional experiences—but that does not make emotions, or emotional expression, a flaw. The issue isn’t that girls feel deeply; it’s what happens when that depth is labeled as something negative instead of being supported.

“When girls feel supported and emotionally safe, they learn that their feelings are something to understand—not something to hide or apologize for.”

When girls are met with validation, guided through big feelings, and given space to talk about what’s happening inside, they begin to trust themselves. Over time, this kind of support builds emotional resilience, self-trust, and a strong sense of self-worth.

How Labels Shape What We Notice

Another piece I’ve been reflecting on is how labels shape perception.

When we expect girls to be “overly emotional,” we unconsciously begin looking for evidence that confirms that belief. We notice the tears, the sensitivity, the intensity—while overlooking moments of calm, confidence, or emotional regulation.

This usually isn’t intentional—but it is powerful.

Psychology refers to this as confirmation bias: once we hold a belief, our minds naturally start noticing what supports it and overlooking what challenges it. Over time, this reinforces labels rather than helping us see children as individuals.

“When we expect a certain story, we start seeing only what confirms it.”

Hormones, Femininity, and Reframing the Narrative

Yes, hormones influence emotional and physical experiences. That part is real. But the issue isn’t hormones—it’s how we talk about them.

Many women grew up disconnected from their bodies, taught to view hormonal changes as something to endure, manage quietly, or feel embarrassed by. One of the most empowering books I’ve read on this topic is In the Flo by Alisa Vitti, which reframes hormones as something to understand and work with rather than fear.

“I hope to teach my daughter about her body and her cycles in a way that feels empowering, not shame-based.”

I want her to understand her femininity as a source of wisdom and strength—something to work with and trust, not something she needs to apologize for.

Rethinking “Drama” in Girls

Girls are often labeled as “dramatic” in relationships. While social dynamics can be complex, I often wonder how much of what we call “drama” is actually about unmet skill development rather than personality or intent.

Conflict resolution, emotional regulation, boundary setting, and healthy communication are learned skills. When girls struggle socially, shaming them doesn’t help—but teaching them does.

Instead of asking, “Why are girls like this?” what if we asked, “What skills or support might be missing here?”

A Mother’s Responsibility—and Intention

I adore my daughter. I truly love being a girl mom. Loving her has also meant becoming more intentional about how I speak about emotions, identity, and worth. And if I had a son, I would be just as intentional—especially in supporting emotional expression, vulnerability, and connection.

This isn’t about loving girls more than boys—it’s about loving all children well by allowing them emotional wholeness.

As parents, we have a responsibility to look at the beliefs we’ve inherited and decide which ones we want to pass on—and which ones we want to release.

I know my daughter will encounter unhealthy messages about who she’s supposed to be. But as her mother, I’m committed to doing the work of repair.

“I want her to grow up knowing that all parts of her are worthy, that emotions are not weaknesses, and that she never has to dim her light to be accepted.”

Common Questions

Are girls actually more emotional than boys?
Research suggests girls and boys experience emotions with similar intensity. What often looks like a difference is shaped by socialization and how emotions are responded to over time.

Why do people say girls are harder than boys?
This belief often reflects discomfort with emotional expression rather than real differences in temperament.

Aren’t hormones a real challenge?
Hormones do influence emotional and physical experiences—but they are not inherently negative. When girls are taught to understand their bodies rather than fear them, hormones can become a source of insight rather than shame.

How can parents respond to negative comments about girls?
Sometimes the most powerful response is a quiet reframe—internally or aloud. Shifting language and modeling curiosity can gently interrupt harmful messaging.

If you’re interested in learning more, research on gender and emotional development highlights the role of socialization in shaping emotional expression:
👉 https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3597769/

Where This Connects to Other Parts of My Story

This piece connects deeply to much of what I share here on Inspired Mama—especially around healing, identity, and the work of breaking generational cycles.

If this resonated with you, you may also feel drawn to:

The same truth remains: healing doesn’t happen by accident. It unfolds through intention and love—often in the quiet, everyday choices we make as mothers.

A Reflective Invitation

Before you move on, I invite you to pause.

What messages did you receive growing up about girls, emotions, or being “too much”?
How might those beliefs—spoken or unspoken—be shaping the way you respond to the children in your life today?

The words we use today quietly shape the way our girls learn to see themselves tomorrow.

An Invitation to Stay Connected

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If You’re New Here

I’m a mother writing about emotional healing, motherhood after loss, and identity.
If you’d like to learn more about my story and what brought me here, you can read more About Me.

Thank you for being here.